Greetings sports fans! Brick Ramrock is here to liven up your day with my analysis on the upcoming event! Now that I understand that ‘hot takes’ isn’t me getting to eat an endless supply of hot wings at Buffalo Wild Wings, I can finally get to work. Also I want to openly apologize to the staff of Buffalo Wild Wings for clearing them out of hot wings and subsequently not paying for any of them. I also want to apologize specifically to Leon - sorry for biting you Leon, in hindsight this was a terrible thing for me to do, but in my defense, your shirt sleeve was orange.
But now it’s a new world - I’ve washed the sunset orange hues off of my fingers and I can finally lay them onto the keyboard and give you my thoughts and insights into what’s to come for the Ultra Combat Sports family!
First off, for those of you who don’t know me, I’m sorry. It’s lame that you haven’t gotten to know me sooner, but hey! Good luck! Now you get to know me! I’m pretty damn cool and I can destroy a whole pizza with ease. Second off, I used to be known as the masked wrestler DEATHMACHINE, but after many blows to the head and probably an upcoming CTE diagnosis, I had to hang up the singlet in favor of the analysis seat.
As an analyst, I worked first for an outfit called Fight 1 Xperience. Yes, I know they spelled Experience wrong and I told them a couple times, but they refused to listen. My tenure there was outstanding and I like to think that I helped them make up for their lack of spelling skills. Ultimately as soon as ole Bricky left f1x, it took a big fat shit and now it can’t even be found on the Internet Way Back Machine. Crazy, right? Note: I had nothing to do with that tournament where they didn’t hand out the gift cards to the winner. Do not email me because I can’t afford my own gift cards, let alone yours.
After I got my ‘f1x’ so to speak, I moved onto the next outfit called Fight Union which, while it was cool and flashy and the first show was pretty rad, it immediately took a shit due to ‘personal reasons.’ To that I say: Aren’t all reasons pretty personal? I mean, I don’t want to split hairs here, but I’ve been unemployed since then and it’s almost seven years now?
So here’s hoping Ultra Combat Sports will employ me for ‘at least three events or more’ and I’ll finally be able to save up and get that sweet Blackstone 1923 Air Fryer Combo & Four Burners BBQ I’ve been wanting ever since I saw it on that episode of ‘Douchebag BBQ.’
So, for the foreseeable future, I’m going to cover the shows. I’m going to delight you with my wit and intellect while also informing you of what’s going on in the UCS. I’m going to cover each match with predictions and I’m going to hit you with some other thoughts here and there. First, we’re going to start with, ‘OF THE MONTH!’
